Bumbles Crosses the Line
Bumbles felt himself calm down a bit after his beer bath courtesy of CedrosCM. Jinney’s ministrations didn’t hurt either. A few hours of celebration later he got up. “I’m going to call it a night blokes” he yelled as he stumbled towards the pub’s front door. “I’ll see’s you later, ta”. Bumbles made it to the door, opened it and froze. It was like something strange had passed through his body. He couldn’t tell if it was the beer, his supper of Buffalo chicken wings or a ghost. Maybe it was the cold night air he thought self soothingly. Confused by this conundrum, pondering “what” as deeply as he could, he began to step over the cill. This being an old English pub the cill had energy unto itself. It was if the cill reached up and gleefully tripped him. He tried to grab the door handle but it swung with him. With his immense girth underway a gentle recovery was not in the cards. Bumbles fell sideways in a gentle unrelenting pirouette landing face down in a thicket of brambles growing on the sidewall of the pub.
“Ow, shite. I’m going to kill you, you damn bushes” he screamed. The brambles were unperturbed. Thrashing in his attempts to free himself only made his pain worse so he stopped. Facedown in the thicket Bumbles realized he had well and truly bumbled this time. Any attempt to lift his head caused the thorns hooked in the skin of his face to cut deeper. “My face, it’s on fire” he sobbed. “I’m going to die, bled to death by a bush”. Pull yourself together Garth (his true name) came the voice of his mother. Lying still he began to sort out a plan to get free, to LIVE. Wriggling his arms he found they were only lightly hooked. Moving eel like, he broke free of the thorns, slowly moving his hands up to his face. Feeling around with his fingers Bumbles was able to unhook his skin from the crown of thorns ringing his face.
Lifting his head away from the thorns Bumbles noticed an odd disc like thing mixed in with the dirt and blood. Wrenching free he hauled his bulk up grabbing a handful of dirt and hopefully the disc with his left hand. Finally released from his thorny prison he staggered to his feet only to hear Jinney say “Bumbles what an arse, you’ve destroyed my dessert bush”. Bleeding profusely from multiple lacerations he didn’t have the energy to bellow some profanity at her. Shaking his head Garth staggered down the street toward home, #10 Drowning Street. A block down the street he remembered the odd object he had tried to grab. Looking down he opened his hand. Mixed in with the dirt and clotted blood was an oddly shaped cobalt blue disc. Stuffing it all in his pocket he began to whistle. “Things might be looking up”, he thought. Little did he know…
Bumbles Interrupted
Bumbles put the blue-chip back in his pants pocket as he arrived at his front door. Pulling out his house keys he unlocked the apartment door. Something twigged in the back of his mind to “stay still”. Having had a bad experience with a threshold earlier, he instinctively waited. The interior of his apartment was dark. Listening for something bad Bumbles leaned into the house with his head. Nothing. Then, faintly, a clock ticking, and… a tap dripping- dripticking he mumbled. Laughing to himself he relaxed and stepped inside. Bumbles instantly regretted his decision when a deep monotone voice in the darkness, said, “legends are made from this”. Something clobbered him in the head. The last thing he saw were beautiful colored stars, then everything went black.
The first thing he remembered was a sensation of being kissed. He liked it and puckered his lips to kiss back. Instead of a better feeling something bit his lips and he snapped into full awareness. He could see that he was on his bed and his “pet” honey badger, Mike, was sitting on his chest. Mike snarled at Bumbles. Bumbles knew this was Mike’s signal for being fed or else. Attempting to get up was another matter though. Here goes Bumbles said as he pushed snarling Mike off his chest. Rolling on to one side he sat up on the side of the bed. His head was pounding. Remembering the monotone voice and his pain, he suddenly felt frightened. Who’s there he yelled? All he got back was another low snarl from Mike. Bumbles stumbled out of the bedroom to the kitchen with Mike snarling and nipping at his heels. Mike liked meat, meat, and more meat. Opening the fridge door he saw a raw chicken leg on a plate. Okay, that’ll do. He set it down on the floor. Mike jumped on the chicken leg, tearing at it and snarling.
Freed from his “pet”, Bumbles decided he needed to check the rest of the apartment. Maybe a kitchen knife from the butchers block for protection first. Feeling a bit safer Garth wandered slowly from room to room. Everything was as it was before his sojourn to the pub. Maybe Mike learned to speak human-nah, impossible. Sitting down on a kitchen chair, Bumbles watched the honey badger finish his messy meal. With two quick twitches of his tail in Bumbles direction Mike left the room.
Bumbles fingered the blue-chip in his pocket. What the hell was going on he wondered? Bumbles knew he wasn’t the brightest bulb on the block, but he could feel things, deep things. But not like a Nazi or fascist, like they thought he would become at the pub.
It was getting late he realized-time for bed. Although outwardly he looked a mess most of the time Garth was meticulous about his bedtime rituals-deep breathing exercises and meditation for one half hour, then his bathroom routine. He spent some time cleaning the cuts on his face and hands. Brambles he muttered.
Sighing, he lay down on the bed. Still apprehensive about the origin of the voice and the blow to his head, Bumbles listened for any audible twitch in his surround. Gradually, he drifted off to sleep. In the morning he woke to Mike licking his face. Off Mike he said, breakfast shortly. Mike rumbled off the bed and out. Bumbles lay still for a bit attempting to remember any dreams he had in the night. He always thought about Owl Man’s advice that dreams are about the future. All he could remember was a dark skinned man handing him a whole raw leg from an animal. The man said, “I hope you enjoy this.” It was beautiful looking meat with hints of white, scarlet and yellow. He’d mull the dream image over during the day. Bumbles got up, put on his tattered bathrobe and shambled out to the kitchen. Mike was sitting in front of the fridge. No meat, meat today Mike he said. Good old Purina vegetarian meat is on the menu this morning. Mike looked sad he thought. Bumbles poured out a ration of dog chow into Mike’s dog dish and added a bit of water then put it down for Mike who dove into it with relish. Well, maybe he was wrong, Bumbles thought.
After his own breakfast Garth did his morning ablutions, then his exercises while holding the images from his dream in his mind’s eye. Something came in a mere flicker- a dance, an indigenous dance around the fire, and then the words “back lit”.
Suddenly Bumbles froze. Where was the blue disc? He began to panic. In the bedroom he searched frantically through his clothes from the day before, nope. He tore the bed apart. Where is it he yelled? Lurching into the kitchen he noticed something by Mike’s dish. Yes, there it was. He felt overcome with relief. Stooping down, he picked it up and put it in his robe pocket. Garth felt calmer feeling its cold surface on his fingertips. Mike growled at the back door. Awakened from his trance Bumbles let the honey badger out after first checking to make sure Mike couldn’t get out of the yard, which he had done many times. Honey badgers are smart and a pain in the arse he chuckled to himself.
Garth decided to spend the rest of the day in the woods near his home doing forest bathing which he loved. Mike accompanied him on a leash which he didn’t like at all. Garth also made sure that his lucky blue disc was with him in his jacket pocket. Periodically he would touch the disc with his fingertips just for reassurance he said to himself. At one point Mike almost slipped out of his hated collar but Bumbles caught him in the act. Mike snarled and made biting feints as Bumbles tightened the collar. At the end of the day Garth felt more centered and grounded. Back home he fed Mike, let him out in the back yard and then cleaned up from his own supper.
After exercises and prepping for bed Bumbles fell asleep clutching the disc in his hand. If he had been awake Garth would have felt the disc heat up.
Bumbles snapped awake, what the hell? A bedroom wall was lit up with words like a poem or something. But it was the blasting music that freaked him out the most. He had heard this song in his youth but couldn’t place it. Here are the words:
Finished with my woman
'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane
Because I am frowning all the time (come on out)
All day long I think of things
But nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind
If I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me?
Occupy my brain
Oh, yeah (let me see your hands)
I need someone to show me
The things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness
I must be blind
Alright, let me hear you, come on
Alright, show it then, come on
Louder, come on
You ain't fucking loud enough, come on
Come on
Now I've heard
Louder, come on, put your fucking balls into it
Alright
Make a joke and I will sigh
And you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel
And love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words
Telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life
I wish I could, but it's too late
Thank you, good night
You are the fuckin' coolest, man
I love you all
We love you, good night, God bless you*
The music ended abruptly and Bumbles passed out from the shock. He had a fitful sleep and dreamt about a door, a black door with markings all over it. When he awakened Garth peeped through one eye expecting the words on the wall to be burned into the paint but nothing. Remembering his dream he pulled out his daily diary which he hadn’t written in for weeks. Laying back on his pillow Bumbles, pen in hand, opened himself to the dream door. It looked like the one below. Words came:
How does the door experience?
Water lapping
Geese grassing
Sailors boating
Mountains eroding
For years the door
Sees
More
Hears
Holding out time
Changing
Ringing
Soft metallic
Heart
*If you want the full effect of Bumbles experience go to
Where is the blue disc he asked aloud? Fumbling around in the bed he found it down by his feet-cold.